Life After Diagnosis

Two Years (and counting) since My Breast Cancer Diagnosis. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

Archive for March 18th, 2005

And I Shall Strike Down Upon Thee with Great Vengeance and Furious Anger

Posted by sarahafterdiagnosis on March 18, 2005

FURIOUS ANGRY.

Back when we first heard the lump was not a cyst, I asked the surgeon “what about the lymph nodes?” and he said “the report says nothing about the lymph nodes.”

What a LIAR. I just picked up the ultrasound report and the radiologist distinctly says there is a 1.2 cm x 8 mm mass in the left axillary (lymph node). The cancer might’ve got to the lymph nodes. it could very well be that the lymph nodes were swollen or something due to my having a cold that day or something, and that it’s not the cancer spread, but who wants to mess around with those odds??! Apparently the idiot surgeon does.

I’d already decided that I’m not going back to this surgeon (this sealed it for sure!!). It’s Katherine’s guy in Jackson or someone recommended by the Oxford oncologist, or SOMEONE, but no way am I going near this guy again.

Now, it’s true that the radiologist’s ultrasound report did say, twice, that the masses were “likely benign.” But the size…wouldn’t the size and the presence of something in the lymph node be an indication to the surgeon that maybe JUST MAYBE? the lymph node ought to be looked at???!

Maybe I am jumping to conclusions here about it all, I don’t know. But it just bothers me SO much…shouldn’t the surgeon have been the one to err on the side of caution and not gamble that it wasn’t cancer? And what’s with the lie about the lymph node? I just can’t FATHOM that.

so angry so angry so angry. Twisted Evil Evil or Very Mad Mad

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Self-Imposed Break

Posted by sarahafterdiagnosis on March 18, 2005

I still have to pick up the ultrasound report and stuff for the Tuesday appointment, plus work on the detailed family medical history for the genetic counselor appointment on Monday (after the oncologist), but I do think I need to Step Away From the Cancer Books. They are freaking me out. Almost wish I hadn’t ordered them. Or that I had at least also ordered something decidedly non-cancer related to go along with them like some goofy novel or something.

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