Round One Tomorrow

Turns out that Locks of Love needs 4″ of hair–so we all went off to the hairdressers’ this afternoon and got haircuts (well, me and the boys, anyway). The twins got little “My First Haircut” certificates for their baby books. Photos of all the haircuts are here.

The other big excitement of the day is that Thomas took several steps! Repeatedly! Several times when the videocamera was running! Someday I’ll find the cord that I need to download the little movie to the computer…but probably not today.

So, yes, tomorrow Chemo Begins. First thing in the morning, but as Chemo Veterans have warned me, it won’t be a quick process. I’ll be surprised, actually, if we’re home by lunchtime. Tom is taking me. Wish me luck!

In-Depth Hair Post

Quiet rainy Memorial Day over here. I slept most of the afternoon, unlike the boys who decided to hold a nap strike on the poor nanny.

Tomorrow I’m going to call my hairdresser and get this Locks of Love thing sorted out for once and for all. When I had my post-baby haircut last fall, she said she would send the hair to the childrens’ version of Locks of Love, but I think my hair is too short for that now (they put the hair in a ponytail and then cut the ponytail off. My ponytail is very stubby indeed, so might not be long enough to donate.). But I want to confirm that, plus I want to know if she’ll cut the boys’ hair. They still don’t have a lot of hair, but for some reason, they have little patches of VERY long hair, mainly over their ears.

Cough is completely gone, but the toenail on my big toe is pretty much dead and gone. I was reading today a blog  of a woman finishing her tenth round of chemo and she said losing toenails is actually a pretty common thing for chemo patients. I am such an overachiever…I lose my toenail before starting chemo.

I have got to go and work on a playlist of music I want to upload to Tom’s MP3 player that I’m going to bring to chemo on Wednesday. No idea how long we’ll be there, but I suspect one magazine of logic puzzles will not keep my attention the whole time, so I need backup entertainment, like movies and books.

Chick Lit Made Me Cry

My cough is pretty much gone now. That’s wonderful, but I am SO TIRED it’s not even funny. I am grumpy because I know next weekend I’ll be *really* tired, after the chemo. I read an entire book yesterday that made me cry. It was a chicklit I picked up at the grocery store, but one of the characters found out she had lymphoma in the middle of the book. I could see it coming a mile away and I was so caught up in the characters…I was holding my breath that a character in a stupid chicklit book would have Hodgkin’s and not non-Hodgkin’s. And then she went through chemo and the whole hair loss thing and I cried cried cried the whole rest of the book.

The thought of chemo is really starting to scare me. Not as much as the hair loss, though. I really hate that I have to lose my hair. It makes me sad AND really furious at the same time. Stupid cancer. Don’t you realize how long it took for my hair to grow this long? Now I have to start all over from scratch. Jerk. I hate you cancer.

Path Report on Righty

Cough is nearly gone; hurrah! I’ve got more energy than I’ve had for over a week, but still have to remember to take it easy or else I get way too tired in the early evenings.

Yesterday’s inflation hasn’t hurt at all. The cough, the incision, and the toenail on my big toe (bashed it somehow and it’s very ugly and ouchy) hurt way more than the inflation. I am so obviously filling out tops now that I almost worry that when people from our friend A’s church bring by food, they’re going to take a look at me and shout “liar! you didn’t just have a double mastectomy last month!” and leave with their food. That would be terrible (as the food is very very good).

Surgeon sent me a copy of my pathology report, surgical report, etc. from the partial oopharectomy. Turns out that I had at least three cysts: the original one we knew about on my right ovary, a few small ones on my left ovary, and one smallish one on my left fallopian tube. What’s with all the cysts, I wonder?

p.s. Plastic surgeon called me skinny again. What am I going to do when I don’t have to see these doctors anymore? They are a real morale booster for my self-image.

300-Mile Round Trip for Bigger Boobs

Had the last trip to the plastic surgeon’s today until chemo is through. It was a “smaller” inflation than the other times (125cc per side), but we’ll resume after chemo.

Tom and I are VERY excited to not be driving to Jackson once (or more!) a week for a while.

300-Mile Round Trip for Bigger Boobs

Had the last trip to the plastic surgeon’s today until chemo is through. It was a “smaller” inflation than the other times (125cc per side), but we’ll resume after chemo.

Tom and I are VERY excited to not be driving to Jackson once (or more!) a week for a while.

One Week to Chemo; Having Hair Thoughts

Cough is marginally better. But I figure if I can get a little bit better every day, then I should still be all-systems-go for Chemo in a week.

Speaking of Chemo, I’m debating whether or not to cut my hair off. A pre-emptive strike of sorts.

(I know that hair loss is not an automatic thing anymore for chemo patients, but I’ve done some reading and it looks like one of the meds the oncologist is talking about using (don’t ask me to remember the name right now) *is* one of those meds that guarantees hair loss.)

My main concern is that descriptions of chemo-induced hair loss seems to be that you run your hands through your hair one day (pulling it back into a ponytail, brushing it, or even just rinsing shampoo out in the shower) and hair comes out in your hands. I can’t lie–that sounds pretty upsetting, but what I REALLY want to avoid is the boys witnessing that. They are still big into grabbing hair and tugging and, oh my Lord, what if some afternoon we are playing and they grab a little bit of hair all playfully and that is when the chemo hair loss starts? That could be really damaging to them!

I’m also thinking that the last time I did a big haircut, my hairdresser here in town sent the hair (about 6-7″ worth) to the childrens’ version of Locks of Love. And wouldn’t it be nice if I could do that again? I can’t do that if I gradually cut my hair shorter and shorter (my original plan for Hair During Chemo).

But am I really ready to walk into my hairdressers’ and have her shave my head?

Hmmm.

Nagging Cough

This is a harder recovery than the bilateral was, in part, we think, because of the cough that I can’t seem to beat. The coughing hurts my incision something awful, plus keeps me awake, despite the painkillers.

While I was in the hospital, the doctors gave me a prescription medication for the cough, but somehow I didn’t get a prescription of it to take home when I was discharged from the hospital on Saturday. So today I called the gynecologic oncologist who was more than a little upset to hear that I hadn’t gotten the cough prescription (along with discharge instructions) when I’d left the hospital. He is also sending me a copy of my pathology report so that I’ll have that to take with me next week to the oncologist’s to prove I’m a-ok ovary-wise.

ANYHOW, the gynecologic oncologist called in a prescription for the cough medicine, Tom picked it up, and now I have more meds to add to my daily routine. Wheeeee!

Home from the Hospital

One thing I really rather liked about being in the hospital was that they set you little daily goals. My competitive self enjoys trying to meet these goals, and usually trying to accomplish them before the set deadline. Yes, even when we’re talking about “taking a walk to the bathroom” or “disconnecting the morphine pump” or the ever-popular “we’re hoping you’ll pass gas today.”

So when I come home from the hospital, it’s a little weird to not have these goals and then to look back on my day to review my accomplishments. What did I accomplish today? Eighteen hours of sleep. Not being awake for more than two hours at a time. Making a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

Therefore, I’ve set little goals for myself for the week: wash my hair. stand up straight. wear lipstick. That sort of thing.

I’ve got one last trip to Jackson this month scheduled, for this Thursday (an inflation–my final one pre-chemo–with the plastic surgeon) and I would like to not need to be medicated heavily in order to make the trip. So that’s a goal, too. 

Still In-Hospital

Required fart did not arrive on-time, plus I’m still coughing a bunch (from the residual headcold-turned-mean from last week) and that might be irritating my incision. So I am in hospital one more night and can go home in the morning, assuming all is well.

Tom likes this plan, for it means he can go see Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith tonight while our friend J stays with the boys. Then he’ll stay in Jackson overnight and pick me up from the hospital first thing in the morning.