Tom’s First Father’s Day

We all had a very nice Father’s Day, starting with cinnamon rolls for breakfast and ending with ridiculous amounts of meat at Texas de Brazil for dinner. I did have to have an extensive nap in the middle of the day, and am still thoroughly worn out.

Last night, friend J shaved my head. It was not nearly as upsetting as I thought it would be. I thought I’d need to hold Tom’s hand the whole time while I cried buckets, but, no, no tears. Instead, J and I got silly and shaved different looks: punk rocker, rebellious youth, Annie Lennox. That sort of thing. By the time we’d run out of silly looks, we’d also run out of hair. Did y’all know how odd a freshly-shaved scalp feels? A bit spongy. And a wig on top of a freshly-shaved scalp is almost ticklish at first.

We took some photos today of the Amazing Hairless Family; it’s a funny thing when the people with the most hair in the house aren’t even a year old yet.

Tom’s First Father’s Day

We all had a very nice Father’s Day, starting with cinnamon rolls for breakfast and ending with ridiculous amounts of meat at Texas de Brazil for dinner. I did have to have an extensive nap in the middle of the day, and am still thoroughly worn out.

Last night, friend J shaved my head. It was not nearly as upsetting as I thought it would be. I thought I’d need to hold Tom’s hand the whole time while I cried buckets, but, no, no tears. Instead, J and I got silly and shaved different looks: punk rocker, rebellious youth, Annie Lennox. That sort of thing. By the time we’d run out of silly looks, we’d also run out of hair. Did y’all know how odd a freshly-shaved scalp feels? A bit spongy. And a wig on top of a freshly-shaved scalp is almost ticklish at first.

We took some photos today of the Amazing Hairless Family; it’s a funny thing when the people with the most hair in the house aren’t even a year old yet.

Husband of the Year

My hair is falling out by the handfuls today. I wore a wig out to pick up some groceries and no one noticed a thing. Janette said the wig was so normal-looking that she didn’t even realize it was a wig until I asked if it looked okay.

Tom went out to run errands this morning and came home with his head shaved for me. He said while he was at the barber shop, the customer next to him asked him, jokingly, “so, did you lose a bet?” Tom said, “no, my wife is going through chemo.” The man said “good for you!”

Friend J is going to shave my head for me tonight.

Another Trip to Jackson

Saw the gynecologic oncologist today for a follow-up to the ovary surgery. He said things look great, told me I could take the steri-strips off the incision (I’m scared to! it’s a big giant Band-Aid and I’m scared it’ll be ouchy), and said he’d like to hear how I’m doing in the fall when I complete chemo and have the port removed. He said the ovarian cysts were not even pre-cancerous, just innocent little cysts, and there’s no super urgent rush to doing the full hysterectomy.

I asked him about a rumor I heard at the support group meeting the other day (that there’ll be a sort of vaccine that will be released in the next year or so that will reverse the effects of BRCA1) and he said not in the next year, but sometime soon. He did say that there is a new ovarian cancer screening test that he hopes will be available in the U.S. soon — it screens for specific proteins (I think that’s what he said, anyway) and overseas studies have shown it to be far more reliable than the current (and pretty unreliable) ovarian cancer screening tests.

As far as more babies go, he said that he’s fine with whenever the oncologist gives the go-ahead, after chemo. For the record, that likely wouldn’t be for at least a year or two, maybe more. Oh well, a girl can dream about one more baby someday, right?

Ides of June

This morning’s oncologist appointment went well. My white blood cell count was a little down (nothing bad, though), but my weight has gone up a little. The weight gain (just 2 lbs.) surprised me a little, given my lack of appetite for the past few days. They gave me another Procrit shot, and then said all systems are GO for Round #2 to happen in one week.

I enjoyed the women’s cancer support group meeting that I attended today. It was a lot more joyful than you’d imagine a support group meeting to be and I’m very happy I went. It left me in an excellent mood for the rest of the day, even though I’m tired.

Another Pretty Okay Day

Another good day, at first, but I got really tired again in the afternoon and napped for a while. The tiredness is now definitely from the chemo and not from the ovary surgery, though. I was thinking about it tonight and I haven’t taken a pain pill in ages, at least for any surgery pain (I did borrow some surgery pain pills when the neulasta shot was causing bone aching).

Tomorrow is a big day in more ways than one. It’s four weeks from my ovary surgery. It’s also another bloodwork appointment at the oncologist’s. And it’s my first meeting of the breast cancer support group at the cancer center. I predict I will be quite tired this time tomorrow!

Lists are Good

Today has been the best day I’ve had (feeling-wise) in ages. Maybe because I started off things right by making a list?  I picked up a pill “organizer” (that even organizes out by time of day), went to the library, ordered the boys’ first birthday cake (a little early–one month from today), and even managed to eat a lunch.

Hair is still falling out, but still only a bit here and there. I think I can hold off on the head-shaving for at least another day or two.

Just a Few Strands…But Still Upsetting

Just when I was starting to think I’d made it home free, my hair started to fall out this morning. Not the big clumps that I’d envisioned, but still, somewhat significant little groups, a dozen strands here, a dozen strands there. I’m almost afraid to take a shower for fear of the big clumps thing happening there.

But, on the positive side, today Tom helped me look at the “delay” in chemo in a new way. At one point this afternoon, I was half-complaining to him that I was feeling pretty okay, all things considered, and yet I still have another week and a half before the next round of chemo begins. He pointed out that while I feel okay, I’m still awfully run-down, and if I were to have Round #2 in a few days, it could be a harder recovery than if I give my body another week + a few days to regain strength (and white and red blood cells!). Maybe that’s obvious, but I honestly hadn’t ever thought of it that way. Anyhow, the point is that now I’m feeling better about “waiting” another week and a half to go for chemo again. It might take longer this way, but if it’ll mean a stronger me in the end, then let’s do it.

Chemo Brain, Damn You!

Chemo Brain is in full force over here. I am becoming stupider and stupider every day.

Last night, I realized that I’d forgotten to take probably half of my prescriptions. I hadn’t just missed one day, I’d missed probably two or three days. Just forgot to take them. They’re sitting on my bedside table, but I still manage to forget them. I am going to have to make myself a daily checklist or something to make sure that I’ve taken all the medications at the right time.

And then this morning, once the boys went down for their naps, I headed off to the store to pick up some essentials (including a notebook for the medication checklist). Unfortunately, I didn’t make a list, and I couldn’t remember what I’d gone to get, so I ended up wandering the aisles, hoping my pitiful memory would be jogged by the sight of something. I managed to remember a few items that I’d meant to get, but after a while, it was clear that Chemo Brain had won out and it would be better to just go home. It was both frustrating and upsetting. I really don’t like Chemo Brain.

And to top it off, I had another migraine. That’s three migraines in four days, more than I’ve had in years (or, really, ever). I’ll have to mention it as a new side effect at my next oncologist appointment on Wednesday.

The Fortune Cookie Has Spoken

Did pretty good today in terms of energy and feeling halfway decent. No new mouth sores, no hair fell out, and–hurrah!–no migraine! However, I’m noticing that my skin is starting to dry out and the toenail that I bashed a few weeks ago officially (ick) fell off.

Tom and I went to lunch at the Chinese buffet for the first time since I think before the surgeries. The waitresses there all know us (we are fairly regular customers) and they all commented on my short hair. One asked why I’d cut it, and–I don’t know why–but I just shrugged. I don’t know why I didn’t say “because it’s going to fall out anyway.” I suppose I didn’t feel like being treated like a Cancer Patient today, even if just for an hour. It was kind of nice.

By the way, my fortune was: “Your labors will bear many rewards.” I like that a lot, and like to think that by “labors” the cookie meant “chemo.”